The Hidden Tax
"Pain isn't from our reality - it's from our stories." - Cy Wakeman
When was the last time you received an email that made your stomach clench? You know the one - where before even opening it, you're already crafting defensive responses based on who sent it and what you assume they want. Or perhaps you've seen a meeting pop up on your calendar that wasn't there yesterday, and your mind immediately races to worst-case scenarios.
As Stephen Covey powerfully observes,
"The worst disease that plagues organizations isn't inefficiency - it's distrust."
This disease manifests most powerfully in our automatic assumption of others' bad intentions.
These daily moments of assuming bad intent might seem minor, but they extract a massive toll on organizations - one that few leaders truly measure or understand. Today, let's explore this hidden tax and calculate its real cost to your organization.
The Assumption Trap
Your brain processes roughly 11 million bits of information at any given moment, but you're consciously aware of only about 40 of them. To manage this flood of data, your brain - specifically your amygdala - constantly scans for threats. This ancient survival mechanism served us well when threats were physical. Today in our hyperconnected workplace, this same mechanism causes us to perceive threats in every unanswered text, missed meeting invite, or corridor conversation we weren't part of.
Consider these common scenarios:
A colleague doesn't include you on an email
Someone questions your decision in a meeting
A team member misses a deadline
A peer makes a decision without consulting you
In each case, your amygdala offers immediate negative interpretations: They're trying to sideline me. They're undermining my authority. They don't respect my time. They're trying to grab power.
The Three Hidden Costs
This automatic assumption of bad intent exacts three specific costs:
Cultural Cost
Defensive communication becomes the norm
Innovation suffers as people avoid risk
Silos strengthen as teams protect "their" territory
Politics replace productive dialogue
Decision-making slows as people protect against imagined threats
Personal Cost
Increased stress and cortisol levels
Reduced job satisfaction
Higher burnout rates
Damaged relationships
Limited career growth
Financial Cost
The average employee spends 2.5 hours per day in workplace drama - that's 816 hours of productivity lost per person annually
The average manager spends 25-40% of their time handling workplace conflicts
Companies lose an estimated $359 billion in paid hours annually due to conflict

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Here's the cruel irony: When we assume bad intent, we create it. In our work with organizations across industries, we consistently see this pattern play out between departments. Sales and operations clash over promises versus delivery capabilities. Marketing and product development battle over timelines and features. Finance and business units argue over budgets and forecasts. In each case, both sides attribute malicious intent to the other's actions, creating exactly the hostile dynamic they fear.
Measuring Your Organization's Trust Deficit
Take a moment to reflect on these questions:
How much time in your last leadership team meeting was spent discussing interpersonal conflicts versus strategic opportunities?
When was the last time you delayed a decision because you were worried about others' potential reactions?
How often do you find yourself crafting defensive emails rather than picking up the phone?
What percentage of your mental energy goes to managing relationships versus driving innovation?
If you're like most leaders, the answers may surprise - and concern - you.
Beyond the Drama
As leadership expert Cy Wakeman powerfully demonstrates, the key to reducing this tax lies in asking better questions. When faced with a challenging situation, try:
"What do I know for sure?" This question helps separate facts from stories, reality from interpretation.
"What could I do to help?" This moves us from judgment to constructive action.
"What would great look like?" This focuses our energy on possibilities rather than problems.
These questions help us toggle from what Wakeman calls "low self" - where we're caught in drama and victimhood - to "high self" - where we're focused on solutions and growth.
Breaking Free: A Leadership Practice
This week, choose one person or department where tension exists. For each interaction:
1 - Pause and notice your assumptions
What am I assuming about their intentions?
What evidence (not interpretation) do I actually have?
What would I do differently if I assumed they had positive intent?
2 - Choose a different response
Replace your first defensive reaction with genuine curiosity
Ask questions instead of making assertions
Seek to understand their constraints and challenges
3 - Track the impact
How does the interaction change?
What new possibilities emerge?
What energy is freed up for more productive work?
The Leadership Choice
The tax of assumed bad intent is optional - but choosing not to pay it requires conscious leadership. It demands that we override our brain's threat-detection system with conscious curiosity. The question isn't whether we'll have assumptions - we all do. The question is: will we let those assumptions silently tax our organizations, or will we bring them into the light where they can be examined and often proved wrong?
Your leadership legacy may well be determined not by what you achieve, but by what you choose to assume about others' intentions. The path forward is clear: less drama, more possibility.
For more insights on this topic, we recommend watching Cy Wakeman's powerful TED talk "Ditch the Drama."